Hello again, I’m back. Talk about tardiness. Yineka-mou and I have been here in Greece for 3 weeks now and I haven’t written a single word to add to my travel blog….whats going on? Well, to be honest, it’s not that I’m getting lazy, it’s just that I haven’t had time. I’ve been far too occupied with simply enjoying my life  on a very small island in the Micro-Cyclades, and thats a lot more fun than having to sit down and write about any misadventures that may have happened….and they HAVE happened too, and you may even get to read about them later. But for now, I’m not in Koufonisia any longer, where the only news available is already a year old before it reaches the island. I’m back here in Chania, where my house has TELEVISION, and a WIRELESS. So I get to catch up on all the news that I didn’t want to know about….. I seem to crave all and any news like an alcoholic that hasn’t had a drink in months….( maybe not a great analogy !) . Last night for instance, after a big night at the Taverna, I came home late ( and in Crete, that’s at least after 2 am) I found YOUTUBE on the TV, and it was still logged into my account from when I accessed it last year.  What to watch? Well, let’s catch up on all the news eh, so what better than a a live stream from the UN with Trump’s speech to the General Assembly.  After 10 minutes listening to him waffle on about Climate Change, Transgenderism, immigration, Sadiq Kahn etc I fell asleep on the settee, and when I woke up 50 minutes later, surprise surprise, he was still going. However, when I heard Trump  mention Palestine, and that he endorsed the Israeli position on Palestinian statehood , well that got me interested. What Israeli position was Trump talking about?

When the President read out the details, you could have knocked me over with a feather. All I can say is, it’s about time, and I for one fully support the Israeli resolution.  Talk about stunned, it’s a game- changer.  What’s not to like…..No more silly time wasting elections for starters. So for  those of you who haven’t had time to catch up with the news , I’ll share it here. 

BREAKING NEWS!

During a speech at the General Assembly of the UN today, Israel has absolutely stunned the global stage by officially recognising Australia as a Palestinian state, leaving world leaders at the UN choking on their oat milk lattes. This diplomatic curveball comes hot on the heels of PM Albanese’s comical move to recognize “Palestine”—a nation with the concrete existence of a unicorn fart, mostly championed by folks who’d sell their souls for a hand made keffiyeh from Prada .  

In a savage countermove, Israel’s cartographers have gleefully redrawn their maps, slapping “Occupied Aboriginal Territory (Palestinian Protectorate, Southern Division)” over Australia’s sunburnt hide. Because nothing says “tit for tat” like rebranding an entire continent as a subplot in someone else’s historical drama.

Prime Minister Anthony (selfie please! ) Albanese, caught mid-bite of his Vegemite toast, reportedly gave a sage nod and declared, “We’re thrilled Israel’s embracing our vibe as a purely fictional-based nation. Recognizing imaginary stuff is the gold standard of diplomacy these days—shoutout to the UN for keeping the dream alive.”

Israeli officials, barely containing their smirks, laid out the new nomenclature with the precision of a Tel Aviv barista crafting a flat white. 

Sydney? That’s East Gaza now, mate—same traffic, worse falafel, but more arabs. 

Melbourne? Say hello to West Ramallah, where the coffee’s bloody bonza but the crime’s out of control…..! 

Canberra? Still a bureaucratic black hole, and an even less desirable place to live in than Gaza, so no rebrand needed. 

And Perth? It’s the Sinai Desert 2.0—more sand, but fewer shopping hours.…

Foreign Minister Penny Wong, the mastermind (sic) behind Australia’s “Palestine’s real if we squint hard enough” policy, couldn’t contain her glee. “This is a triumph for justice and self-determination” she crowed, dragging on  a shisha  while knitting a keffiyeh from goat wool ethnically sourced from a Bedouin camp located on the  West Bank  of the River Jordan.

Greens Deputy Leader, Senator Mehreen Faruqi, wearing a burqa made from Sudanese flags ( easy to confuse it with a Pali flag, especially when you buy it online from TEMU) was positively radiant, practically levitating with joy. “Australia must fully lean into its new Palestinian identity!” she proclaimed, “We need to remove the Union Jack from the Australian Flag, replace it with the Flag I’m proud to be wearing, and change the coat of arms from a Kangaroo and Emu to a Camel and a Kalashnikov—iconic, symbolic, and tastes way better.”

From the Indian Ocean to the Pacific…. Wasn’t always, but always will be, Palestinian land. 

………..…….Oh dear, I’ve just woken up with a god-awful hangover, someone must have spiked my ouzo….. is this real or did I just dream it ?